Orange Terror
by lovelysquid
Summary: Dirk-san is just a simple little boy from the big city who wants to find true love... But will he have to be a true terror to get it?
1. Chapter 1

(A.N. Heeeeeey dirkjake lovrs! I recently fell in love with this pairing so I decided to write something 4 it! xD yes it's my first fanfic on this account but trust me I've wrote a lot more. sry if there are any typoes I like to just do rough drafts~~ XDD hopefully I can update daily or every other day so comment and like fuckassas! XD)

They know Dirk was gay ever since he was born…

"Dirk honey, what're you doing with that breadstick?" Said his Mom, Rose Lalond.

Dirk was sucking on the breadstick from it's top and it stuck out of his mouth as he cut his pasta. "I'm eatin a breakstick" say dirk.

"Dear that is mot how you eat it." Rose shook her head and looked to Dave and in that moment they knew Dirk was going to be SO into boys. This bad thing because his sister, Roxey, did not like the gay. She liked the lesbian though cause she was a femints.

Roxey and Dirk faught a lot at home and yelled at each other through separate rooms. This made Dirk really sad because he wasn't as strong as most gays and needed support. But his dad was never around he was too busy making movies about dumb stuff that he didn't care about and poor Dirk was alone with his b*tch sister and Mom who only talked about boirng crap.

He decided to try omegle because he could maybe get lucky but all he found was dicks.

He liked them but still wasn't happy.

Dirk sat down to watch his favorite anime, Boku no Pico episode three, and sighed to himself. He wished he could find love, because love was beautiful. He loved animes and always wanted a love like Madoka and Homura-chan, or That Sailor moon b*itch and the guy. He then suddenly noticed he was late for school! He scarfed down his breakfist and headed towards the door, but not before Roxey showed up.

"Where do you think you are going, Dirk?"

"R-Roxey-chan please let me go to school, I need my education." He whimpered. She laughed whole-heartedly.

"Not unless you drive me and my girlfriend to the mall."

"B-But you have a car, can't you drive yourself?"

"NO."

"Weeeeh! Ok, ok! I will drive you, Roxey-chan."

"Good and stop saying Roxey-chan it's just Roxey you fucktard." She then left in a dash and Dirk was alone once again. He walked to school and sat on a blue bench.

"Hello Dirk." Said His friend, Umbrage, as he sat next to him. "I would like to play a game."

"Not right now, Umbrage-chan. I am busy sulking."

"Why sulking?" Umbrage said while rolling his scarlet eyes. Dirk blushed a little underneath his glasses and sighed longingly.

"I do not have a lover and my sister hates me."

"I could be your lover, Dirk." Umbrage said while resting his hand on Dirk's red hot cheek.

"NOOOOOO." Dirk exclamined. "YOU DO NOT MAKE MY OCHINCHIN GO DOKI DOKI!" Dirk began weeping because he wanted his friend to be happy but he did not like his friend that way. Umbrage bit his thumb and sobs quietly. "I just wanted to play a game," He whispered. "Not this, never this." Umrabge got up and left with only some of his seme dignity in tact.

Dirk had no dignity so he stood up and ran as fast as his little feet could carry him.

"WHOOOA!"

"Oof!"

Dirk collapsed from a large collision with another boy. When Dirk looked up he saw a green eyed boy with black framed glasses, large muscles and adorable buck teeth. Dirk looked away quickly and stood up again.

"S-Sorry…" He said quietly, daring to look up to the stranger again.

"It's not a thing, mate. Are you okay?" The man handed Dirk his books back.

"Uh… yes… thank you…" He looked at the ground, his face bright red again. His kokoro beated at the speed of a drum.

"Well okay then. My name's Jake by the way, Jake English, I'm the new exchange student."

"To West Austin HiiiGHH?" Dirk gasped. This boy was going to his school! His face got even redder because his voice cracked from nervousness. Jake chuckled and nodded.

"I moved here with my girlfriend, Jane Crocker."

Dirk's face went blank. This is not how his perfect yaoi should go! But a simple uke like him could do nothing about this… he wasn't… terrible enough… Dirk sighed and looked at the ground. While his kokoro was still doking he didn't have any more words, so he just walked away. Jake gave him a sad and confused look before continuing with his day as well.

Dirk did not see him for the rest of the day, but thought about him. "I have to see him again. Jake…" He said silently to himself while swooning at the boy's name. He was so perfect…..


	2. Chapter 2

(A.N. Chapter 2! I jusrt found out Roxey was spelling 'Roxy' omfg like for real? what a dumb way to spell it. anyway enjoy! \o/)

"Siiiiiign." Roxy said as she sat back in Dirk's orange car. "This is taking too longer." Dirk was a little bit angered by Roxy's lack of grammar. Roxy's girlfriend, Umbra, sat in the next to her in the back seat and sat her hand otop of Roxy's.

"No need to fret, dear, we'll be there soon enough!" She smiled warmingly. "Wonk…wonk~" Dirk heard them whisper to each other from the front seat, he sighed. He hated his sister so much! But alas, a small uke could do nothing.

When they were finally at the mall Dirk climbed out of the front seat and opening the doors for the girls. Roxy grinned and patted his shoulder roughly. "We'll be back to the car by 5:30, if you aren't here and ready to drive by then, you're screwed." She went into the mall with Umbra, laughing.

"Ugh, I think I will sit right in this car, no use in-"

"Hey, kid! You forgot your notebook!"

Dirk turned around to see the strapping young lad he met earlier that day walking towards him. He just exited a green jeep and was smiling dorky like. Dirk felt his heart skip a beat as Jake held out his hand to give the book to Dirk. Ohhh what should I say? He wondered. Jake was so dreamy and loveable, so kind and hunky…

"Dirk, is it?"

Dirk squealed a little when he said his name. "How do you know my name?"

"Oh! Pardon me if I intrude a bit but I looked in your notebook. Your writing skills are exemplary and you are very smart."

"Ah… ah… T-Thank you Jake-kun…" Dirk couldn't look at him directly, he was just too nervous. Jake quirked his head to the side and chukled a bit.

"Are you ok, lad? Also, you remembered my name!"

"Ah! I'd never forget such a sugoi sir's name!"

"Say… what are all those strange words you are using? Devil fucking dickens, I do not understand!"

"No one usually does… but that's okay… I can stop if you want…" Dirk sighed and bit down on his finger again.

"No, it's quite alright. You should always do what you want to and love it! You seem as if you're ashamed, but you shouldn't be. At least you're not a lesbian, am I right?" They both laughed together. Dirk thought about Jake's deep and meaningful words, he smiled at him and nodded.

"Arigato, Jake-san. So uh… what are you doing at the mall?"

"I'm meeting up with my friend, Aranea. Would you like to tag along, chap?" Jake smiled down at him with those handsome emerald eyes and for a split second they seemed as if they were shimmering in the sunlight. Dirk nodded quietly.

"I must be back at 5:25 however, or my sister will kick my arse."

"Sounds good, we'll be back before then for sure." Dirk stuffed his notebook back in his backpack and followed Jack into the mall. He could only feel his heart beat as they walked side by side, he would give anything to reach out and hold his hand. If only Jake wasn't straight! Maybe… just maybe… he wasn't straight, but bisexual. It would truly be a miracle if he was.

When they finally reached the food court, Jake waved to a girl in a blue dress. She had white glasses and eight eyes in one eye! Her horns were pretty cool too. Dirk shyly waved to the kawaii mistress and they walked over to her table. She had McDonalds.

"Hello Jake! Who's this?" Her lips her cerulean blue and her smile were very calming.

"This is Dirk, I met him earlier today. Thought I'd invite him to have lunch with us."

"Sure thing! Hello Dirk, I'm Aranea." She outstretched her hand to meet Dirk's, to which he shyly shook it back and returned it to under the table. He took a seat next to Jake and examined the food.

"I-Is there enough for me?"

Aranea looked to Jake and laughed. "Only if your pal is willing to give up some of his, I'm starving." Jake nodded and passed over some grub for Dirk, to which he gently accepted and nibbled on. "Thank you." Dirk whispered.

The three ate in peace.

At 5:30 Dirk was back at the car and saying goodbye to his crush.

"See ya tomorrow, bro! By the way… do you have a phone number?" Dirk wrote his number down on a small flowered paper and handed it to Jake. Jake left with Aranea and said he would call him. Maybe.

When Dirk turned around he noticed Roxy and Umbra coming towards him so he quickly got into the car and sat in the drivers seat.

"Maaaan those sales were hotsome!"

"I agree, that was splendid!"

The girls gossiped about their boring trip to the mall, meanwhile all Dirk had on his mind was the sweet boy he met today. The same sweet face would show up in his dreams, green eyes and all. Dirk wondered what he liked, maybe videogames? Math? Cars? Arg how he wish he could just kiss those pink lips of wonder and hotness.

Dirk woke up by his phone alerting him that he had a text. It was 9:00 on Saterday.

"Jake-san3 sent:

Hey Dirk do you like Fisticuffs? I was hoping we could wrestle some time I had a great time with you. Jane and I are going to the park you should bring your sister or something and we can all go together today at 12! See ya there, pal? :)"

Dirk stared at the text message for a few moments before rolling over and squealing into his pillow. Jake English wants to hang out with… HIM! AAAAH!


	3. Chapter 3

(A.N: like I said in the frist chapter I'll try to update everyday, and mess around with my writing a bit~ o.o also this is an au where trolls and human live on eart. enjoy!)

"Roxy?" Dirk traveled out into the hallway to see his sister slumping on the couch. "Can I uh, ask you something?"

She rolled her eyes in annoyance. "What do you want loser?" She said while slurping down some water to make her less drunk. Dirk did not understand why his sister was always drunk. Maybe there was more to her then he thought and hanging out with her could have a positive reaction on their relationship? He sighed a little.

"My friend Jake wanted me to come along with him to the park. Can you come as well?"

"I'm not going to help you get some dingus. I don't like the gay."

"N-No! He has a girlfriend…."

"Ooooh I see. You want me to sweep the girlfriend off her feet so you can get the guy?"

"Um… no. We're just friends." Dirk looked away sadly, how he wished he had the courage to ask her to do that. Roxy could get any girl she wanted because of her looks and way of words. But if Jane was anything like Jake, maybe not.

Roxy set the water down and locked eyes with Dirk. They stared at each other for a while before she spoke up and said "Fine I will come with you, only if you're driving." Roxy really did not like driving.

Dirk nodded and smiled shyly at her. "I will, Roxy. Thank you." She waved her hand, dismissing his odd behavior. Dirk went back to his room and sat in front of his computer. He decided to look up Jake's name on facebook.

"Jake English…" He whispered while typing, tilting his head to admire the way Jake decorated his page. He was in a relationship, loves Ke$ha, wrestling, and guns. Dirk giggled at his profile update that said "Goin out with my girl and bro today! Ye haw." Dirk wished he could add him but sadly he did not have a Facebook because Facebooks were really stupid and headache inducing.

12:00 finally rolled around and Dirk stuffed a water bottle and a hairbrush in his backpack and was ready for his date- er, hang out, with Jake. He walked to the door where Roxy stood and they left. In the car they were completely silent, sat next to each other and didn't even glance at one another. Dirk was pretty nervous about the whole meeting Jake's girlfriend thing… he hoped she wasn't a complete b*tch.

They finally arrived and Dirk quickly spotted Jane and Jake holding hands under a tree.

"Heyo bro!" Said Jake, waving to Roxy and him.

"WHO is THAT?" Roxy gasped and pointed to the girl who was dressed in light blue. She wore adorable round glasses and her hair had a bit of a twirl to it. Dirk was incredibly jealous of her. She was so kawaii! But what did she have that he didn't? Roxy waved flirtaciously at Jane. Jane looked slightly confused at this, but waved back nonetheless. Jake chuckled awkwardly and Dirk said nothing, he was too busy looking at Jake. Jake was wearing a tank top, damn!

"So shall we walk then?" Said Jake as he stood up and walked over to Dirk. No one said anything at first, but Dirk nodded slowly.

"Yes," He said. "Also, Jake this is my sister Roxy. Roxy this is-"

"Jake, yeah yeah I know. Who's the girl in blue?"

"That's my girlfriend, Jane." Said Jake defensively. Jane got up and dusted off her skirt to walk next to Jake.

"Pleased to meet you!" She said. Her voice was adorable, and she reached out her hand to shake with Roxy. Instead, Roxy took her hand in hers and kissed her knuckles. Dirk's eyebrows raised and Jake huffed mildly. Maybe if Roxy wooed Jane, he could have Jake to himself! Dirk glanced at Jake, and his intentions suddenly changed. The boy looked very sad that his girlfriend was being wooed, and Dirk only wanted what was best for him. Ugh, life sucks, he thought.

"Roxy, hold my hand? I do not like to cross streets alone."

Roxy paused and glared at Dirk. She knew exactly what he was doing and did not like it. "Ok, little brother. I will hold your hand." She reached out and squeezed Dirk's hand as hard as she could. It hurt, a LOT.

They crossed the street and started into the park. The trees were a nice change of setting, but his hand felt as if it was going to pop right off. Jane and Jake were also holding hands, but more softly. He truly did like her… oh man what was he going to do? Meanwhile Roxy was staring at Jane's choice ass. It was utterly plush.

The four of them walked like this for a while, in mostly silence. Until Jake turned to them with a smile. "Is anyone hungry?" He said. "We could sit down over there and eat from his picnic basket."

"Sounds good to me." Roxy said with a grin. Dirk knew what she was craving.

Jake and Dirk sat down at the top of a little hill while Jane and Roxy talked underneath a nearby tree. The boys couldn't hear exactly what the girls were talking about, but he knew it was probably flirting.

"So Dirk how about that fisticuffs?" Said Jake when he finished his PBJ sandwich. Dirk blushed again, not entirely sure what fisticuffs was, but nodded anyways. Jake stood up and spread out his arms, curling his fingers and furrowing his eyebrows. Uh oh, Dirk thought before Jake slammed into him.

Needless to say, Jake won.

The rest of the day went terrific; Dirk even got to brush his hand on Jake's, which was enough for him. They parted ways and headed back towards the car.

"Jeez louse Jane is a Q-T." Roxy said with a giggle. Dirk had never seen her so giddy over anyone.

"Yeah I suppose Jane was ok. What about Jake?"

"You should totally go out with him." Roxy said before winking and shuffling into the backseat. Dirk blushed heavily and then followed her. He drove them home safely.

Everything was falling into place! He thought. Roxy and Jane could date, and Jake and I could be the most perfect yaois ever! Dirk cupped his cheeks with his palms and doodled over his notebook. He drew Jake and him kissing and holding hands.

But he was forgetting one VERY important element that was still in the way of them being perfect yaois… Two elements, really…..


End file.
